Just a warning to anyone who may read this. Today's post will not be a witty, enlightened piece of written genius (We can all dream can't we?)
Noooo, today's piece is going to be an all out rant.
'What' I hear you gasp. 'Pip having a rant, never! Then tell us O Wise One (Hey! It's my blog, I can be wise...sometimes) what has irked you so?'
Okay here goes.
It's a single word, one that I imagine is only whispered in the darkest of corners by those of us who one day hope to achieve the mantle, writer. This word holds incredible, dark power. So terrible is this word that I know it has the ability to drown any and all elated sensations that I hope every writer feels when they have finished a piece and thinks that it might be ready for an agent to read.
So savage is this creature of torture, because if this word was a 'being' it would be a foul, contemptible thing indeed, that it has the ability to take your perfectly lovely day, you know the one, your sat in your favourite chair, enjoying the calm serenity that comes from knowing you can pat yourself on the back for all those month's you have spent, locked away, writing your masterpiece (as far as I'm concerned my work is always a masterpiece, so why shouldn't it be the same for everyone else), when out of nowhere it starts stalking you and whilst you try to ignore it, it's to late, because you can both feel and hear it.
At first it's low, barely even noticeable, but that's okay, because this vile menace is nothing if not patient. Then it starts, and like the solitary echo of dripping water, it lets you know that you should be afraid. It gains momentum. You try to ignore it but that persistent dripping quickly picks up speed and then without warning transforms itself to something even more ominous, a single, lowly drum beat.
BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!
The drum gets louder and louder, you start to run, but the harder you try to ignore it, the louder and quicker the sound becomes, and now there are hundreds of drums, thundering around you, all playing together at the same time and tempo. You try to run from it, but you simply can't. It has to be faced, there is no escape. And then with the power of a tidal wave crashing to the shore you are over powered by the full force of its intensity and in the eerie silence that follows you are left with a single word...
- Is there a magic formula? An idiot's guide to how to? A way that explains the process in such a way that I get it and understand that I was probably worrying unnecessarily over nothing really?
- Does anyone have this much trouble with writing the aforementioned? If so, what did you do to get passed it. I would love to read a synopsis that has been accepted and passed, just so I know what one looks like.
- And if an agent requests a 1 page synopsis, is it okay to send them 2 pages and explain in the letter that proceeded it why you have sent two pages? To be honest this is a stupid question to ask, I know the answer. No, it's not okay, but I am at a loss as to what to do.