Wednesday, 30 January 2013

Realisation is starting to kick in...What do I do now?

Hey it's me again. How are you doing?

It's been over a week since I have written anything here, but it's not because I haven't wanted to, it's simply that life keeps getting in the way of things. I find it's a pain in the arse like that, don't you?

I am quickly working through version/draft 3 of my story/book and am happy at the way my progress is going. I have finally conquered 'Chapter 8'. It was originally a 70 page monster of a chapter that took me more than three attempts to write before I had written something I was happy with.
Well I am pleased to report that it has now been broken down into five, yes that's right, FIVE, more manageable chapters. Although I'm not sure if what I have done is right. As essentially it is still just one chapter.

In the world of writing, is this a good thing to do? Is that the way to do it? Or would I have been better off leaving it as one big chapter and perhaps put in pages breaks? If anyone does read this and has an answer, then please, I would be grateful if they could advise me that if as a reader you would be happy reading five consecutive chapters that tells one big tale, or should I spread the new chapters out amongst others so that the hopefully one day reader won't get bored?

Anyway, it's done. I climbed my own personal Everest finishing that and now it's out of the way I am finding that I am eating up the rest of the chapters with relish. I know that there will be at least another 2 rewrites, of that I am positive, but I'm ready and eager to crack on and finish a version where I am happy for someone to read it. That's right, I have written nearly 3 different drafts of my story/book, which equates to over 200,000 words in total and still I haven't let anyone read anything I have written, or should I say typed.

The problem I have now is that the closer I get to finally completing my first piece means that I am also getting closer to having to ask someone to read it.  I can almost see the end, and that thought alone motivates me to work harder, but the harder I work the closer I am to asking someone to read it and then we're back to the beginning of the loop.  Am I making any sense to anyone else?

I often wonder if established writers felt the same way I do right now when it came to them completing their first ever piece?

It’s strange really.  For the last 18 months I have been able to lose myself in my writing and at first it didn’t matter whether what I wrote was any good or not.  I just wanted to get it down on paper, so to speak.  But now I am cutting and cleaning, trimming and adding all at the same time I am starting to wonder whether what I have written is actually any good?  I suppose the easiest way around this is simply to get someone to read it, the question now is – who?

I could ask my wife and probably will, but I think to a certain extent that this is somewhat cheating and unfair, on her anyway.  What happens if it turns out that what I have written is actually quite good, she will (hopefully) tell me, but then I’m worried that I will get it into my head that she is only being nice and doesn’t want to hurt my feelings.  Or and I’m terrified that this is more likely.  What happens if what I have written is complete crap and she doesn’t feel that she can tell me in fear that it will hurt my feelings?  How neurotic am I?

I could ask a friend, but none of them know that I am trying to write a story/book and I realise that this is going to sound pathetic, but what if they laugh at me when I tell them?  Add to that the headache of asking them to read it too and the thought makes me feel quite sick.  Most of the people I know aren’t really what you would call ‘readers’.  Unless it's a dirty joke or the sports pages of a newspaper.

So what is a wannabe writer to do?  I don’t want to start sending it out with the hope and unlikely chance of getting picked up without asking a few random people to read my work first.  If I keep going the way I am, my first piece should be ready to read within the next 3 months, so I am asking anyone that may read this dribble, please can you advise me what is the best thing to do in this situation?

Either way, I will continue to write and hope that something comes up that will help answer at least one of the many questions I have when it comes to trying to reach my goal of being a writer.  Fingers crossed.

Well, until next time, stay cool.

Pip  x

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