Thursday, 20 February 2014

Do we really believe that everyone has one good book in them? I sincerely hope so.

Hello Future me. 

It's been a couple of weeks and to be honest not much has happened.  Although I did receive three more rejections this week, which is not okay, but I am okay with it, does that make sense?  If nothing else at least I'm consistent.  However these rejections have got me thinking.

I, at no point take the rejections personally, mate if we did, none of us would be writing, however it is sometimes hard to understand what it is that makes a sellable book.  I know that most of us would probably say that we don't write for the money, we write because something inside of us needs to come out, we have a story that we are compelled to share, but if that really was the case why do we write them down.  I'm pretty sure that most, if not all, could talk someone through the book that we are trying to write down at the moment.  We would regale them with tales about anything our imagination could muster, telling anyone who would be prepared to listen about every twist and turn, the highs and the lows, the beginning, the middle and the end, everything our minds can create to flesh out the worlds we inhabit in our heads.  Hell, we should all set up a YouTube account and read out a chapter a week of our work, you never know but with a bit of luck we could all be staring in our own little Jackanory series. 

So the way I see it, by taking the time to write it down, we, whether we admit it or not, are telling ourselves that we want others to read it and if we can make a few quid doing it, mores the better, otherwise, we'd all be knocking out books and banging them on Amazon for free, but we also have to eat don't we. 

And I think that's the point I am trying to make, are we governed by our need to write or our need to make money.  I'm sure that for established writers this is a redundant question, I'm not going to go on about how they are living the dream, because I imagine being what I would call an established traditional writer, one who has an agent, editor and publisher, that it probably doesn't get easier, in fact I suspect it gets a lot harder.  Deadlines, re-writes, etc.  I don't know, unfortunately I'm not there, not yet anyway.  (You see, in spite of everything I'm still optimistic).

I still don't class myself as writer, I have written one book and am wading through my second, but the way I see it, until someone says to me, I like it, I'll buy it, I will always be a wannabe.

Maybe it's the validation I'm looking for and that any money that may or may not come from selling my work is a by product of that.  And I think that's what I need, that's what we all need.  I am starting to suspect that we are, for the majority I'm guessing, if I am speaking out of turn I apologise, looking for that one someone, preferably it has to be someone we don't know and ideally someone who has the right connections who will read our stuff and give us an honest assessment of our work, good or bad.

I think I could manage a stranger reading my stuff, again preferably someone who knows a thing about writing, and telling me that what I have written is shite!  Okay, that's not very constructive and would probably up set me quite a bit, but if Stephen King read my stuff and told me politely that I should maybe consider a career in something else, I'm not sure whether I would grit my teeth and become more determined or accept the fact that someone who knows what he's doing, has basically said no, it's rubbish and perhaps I should consider moving my skill set to something else, data entry maybe, I know my way round a keyboard now, or work in a call centre, selling cheap phones to anyone that didn't hang up.  I mean I have the ability to become a brain surgeon, if I studied hard, went back to school and passed every exam with top marks, but I'm not a big fan of blood and guts, so all that time spent learning to cut someone open would have been rendered redundant right?

So what makes me think I can make it as a writer?

In all honesty I can't answer that one, except that I know I am enjoying what I do, I like writing.  It's hard though, distractions are everywhere.  I no longer use 'Facebook'.  Not just because I believe it to be a complete waste of time, but because it's designed to enable people to spend massive amounts of time doing nothing of any real importance.  I am on 'Twitter' but I only follow a few people and very rarely tweet, if you don't believe me, check out my Twitter account @pipconnor feel free to message me, it would be nice to know that others are out there.

Bottom line, writing is hard, there are no guarantees, for everyone person that makes it, there are hundreds, if not thousands that don't.  So why do I continue?  Why not, there are worse ways to spend my time, although there are probably better ways to use it too, can't win really.  Who cares if I don't ever get anyone to like or read my book?  Who cares if I die an old man with a handful of books stashed somewhere for future generations to discover?  Who cares if the hundreds, maybe even thousands of hours I spend staring at my nemesis the 'flashing cursor' is all for nothing?

Who cares?  I'll tell you who cares...unfortunately I do.  LOL.

Until next time, stay cool.

Pip   x